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Riko-JOKH

Riko
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Church

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I'm actually going to church tomorrow. I can't remember if the mass starts at 9 or 10... It takes quite a bit over an hour to get there, and I'd like some leeway time anyway, so I'll leave around 7am. I'm going to ask if I can head the relief nursery, like my mom used to. Pretty much what I'd be doing is watching over young children of churchgoers if they don't do well in a church, or they simply only want to go to Liturgy of the Word (which is the gospel for children) Well, why all of a sudden? Why start going there when I haven't been to church in months? Well it was odd, had an impulse to walk there, out of the blue, Friday evening. I didn't expect anyone to be there. It was stations of the cross night, so the Father was there. AND he recognized me. @______@ which, surprised me, since my hair is a lot different since I last came to the church, which was.... jeez... a year ago. It was awkward, I think he could tell I don't practice anymore. But, it was just... purposeful. Like I was meant to be there. I walked all the way there and all the way home, with little problems. It was...2.6 miles one way. So over 5 miles overall. -looking at church website- ok, mass is at 10:30. Lessee... 20 minutes per mile (approx), and considering the terrain is rough (over hills and stuff) so add time... so yeah, a bit over an hour. hmm. I'll leave around 9 then. But yeah, going there got me thinking, and it brought me to thinking of the relief nursery that my mom used to run. As far as I'm aware, no one has been running it. If I could, hell, that'd get me volunteer hours, but also something to do, something that I feel is USEFUL. Taking care of kids is useful. And it'll be good for me, I do miss hanging out with kids when I volunteered for the elementary school. -laughs- I may be twice their age, but I just can let go, goof off with kids, just for once... be silly. Not have to make sense. Not have to worry about explanations, or complicated things. -chuckles- probably why kids love me, I don't mind being silly with them XDDDDD It'll be fun.... IF I can do it, if Father would let me, if anyone would show up. XP I have a feeling I can though. -smiles- For once I'm actually OPTIMISTIC about this, which is a change -is a pessimist by nature- It'll be nice. It's my home church, so a part of me will always be there. But... -ear twitches, looks a little distant- it's a bit different though. And I'll never look at it the same, either. Just as my big sis never will. I mean, I share similar sentiments as her. She had said, "If there was a God, he wouldn't have let me be molested in his own house." I don't think exactly that, but to me, there'll always be a bit of a dark connotation to church. Hence why I haven't gone in....a long time. It's just not the same as it was when I was young, naive, innocent. And yet I'm WILLINGLY returning. Well, I remember what it was like for me and my big sis. The nursery was safe for us, and we helped out with the younger kids. So, that part is still safe and untainted to me. Hence why it's okay for me to be there. But main church? And mass? -shakes head- naw. My beliefs don't correlate with Catholicism much anymore. But I want to help the kids, and teach them Catholicism, as it is a good faith. -looks at how long this journal is, decides to shut up and stop ranting, and get some sleep- well, it'll be fun.
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You know, it's funny. I'm falling right back into old habits. Falling asleep in class, not eating much of a breakfast or lunch, then eating a huge plate of dinner.. I just hope my homework habits stay good. But I don't have much time to go online as a result. It's hard. ><;; And I will either get stuck doing a 3rd and 4th year of Spanish, or take German 1 and 2. I'm hoping for the latter. I don't want to learn more of Spanish.I heard the teachers are horrible. XP And besides, German is more fun, AND I'd be able to do it easier, hell, anytime I have trouble I could ask my Oma. German is her first language! :rofl:

Art class is horrifying. The teacher is one of those that will single out a student to make an example of them. She saw what I was doing for our first real assignment, drawing kitchen utensils. I chose a whisk, because it's complex, unique, it would keep me busy. I did a unique perspective, and did alright on the shading. She looked at it over my shoulder, and then looked at what my table-mates were doing, and said, "I hope she isn't intimidating you all!" I said, "OXO;;;; umm.... I...wouldn't....know...-buries face in my arm, embarrassed-" the teacher said, "Well you're intimidating me! -laughs-" I was just silent at that point. The teacher had given this long winded speech about how people that sit around the "overachievers" to not be too intimidated, to try your best anyways, don't give up because they are doing better, and she understood, she has felt like that before, at an art teacher convention, and she felt all her peers were doing so much better than her, and BLAH BLAH BLAH.So I had NO clue HOW to respond. Hell I didn't know if it was a compliment or what. x________________x She said, "Yeah, you're definitely an overachiever. You're doing well, all of you." Then she walked off to answer a question. Yeah. That was horrifying. I prefer to stay under the radar in classes (hell school in general. I won't speak to someone unless spoken to, I'm pretty quiet, stick to myself, am stoic) and so to be made an example of like that.... UGH. But there's nothing else I can take, the school is artistically lacking, there are no other general art classes that I can go in this late of the year. Oh well.

And I think I figured out how I got ill. I hang out with a group of people that title themselves the "Doves". They're all pretty cool. They listen to music, chat, it's just a place to hang out when you have no where else to go. The "Mom" (Matriarchal leader of the group) has taken a liking to me. I think it's because I'm fairly innocent in their eyes. I don't smoke, I don't drink anymore. (lol their reaction at me saying that I got drunk once was hilarious. "O.O Wha?? You don't seem like.... The TYPE.") So the "Mom" has kinda taken me under her wing. She makes sure I know street-wise stuff that I haven't learned before. Like you can get Nicotine poisoning. Like, smoking too many cigs. I had NO clue about that. She started telling me of how she got Nicotine poisoning, and was nauseous all day and had a headache. I said, "Wait what. o.o that's odd... you know that's how I've been feeling the past few days. But I don't smoke!" "Mom" looked like she felt bad all of a sudden. "Umm... could it be from the second hand??" She looked at her cigarette that she was holding, and looked like she felt really bad. Like, I usually sit downwind of everyone, leaning against a tree, and "Mom" won't be thinking, and will accidentally tap the ashes from her cig, and it'll land on my shirt @____@ It was accidental, and so I always forgive her. Anyway, I told her, maybe, I don't know. All I know is tomorrow I'll sit at the tree that is upwind of the smoke. ^^; It'd really suck if what I have is Nicotine poisoning because I'm really sensitive to the damn stuff. And I'm not angry or blameful - jeesh they're awesome and respectful. They respect that I don't do what they do. And they're great people (lol they actually got me to dance a couple of days ago ^^; that was odd. Haven't danced in forever ^^; pretty damn miraculous that I danced. It was fun though. Worth it.) And since there's another Jasmine, I got a new name XD I've been rechristened as Crystal (since I'm always wearing the two crystals around my neck) I swear I have so many names I go by at this point I could make a dictionary!!! Riko, Jasmine, Jazzy, Jas/Jaz, Bramble, Sun, Hato, and now Crystal. :rofl: I love the name XD If I wasn't going to be named Jasmine, I would have been named Jewel, so it's actually pretty damn fitting XD -laughs, the groans- >< goddamn stomach... yeaaah I may have to go back to my old system of eating. No breakfast or lunch, but eat enough at dinner to make up for it and make it till the next day. Worked last year. -shrugs-

WARNING: FROM THIS POINT ON IS RANTING ABOUT MY FAVE ANIMES AND MANGAS

And I'm rereading and rewatching animes and mangas. Primarily being Pumpkin Scissors. OMG. I love Randel. I want to draw RandelxAlice fanart. That was so cute, at the ball, when Randel and his other comrades had to crash the ball that Alice was attending to (as she's a noble) to try to stop a riot caused by peasants from killing all the nobles, including their lieutenant, Alice. Randel, seeing Alice in the dress, said, "You look amazing." Alice, suddenly self conscious, covered her dress with her arms, blushing, and said, "There's nothing amazing about this!" (pretty much saying that she's not all that great) And Randel said, "But, there is. That's just like you, Lieutenant.." Alice turned a brighter red, then slapped him four times XDDDDDDD It's so sad though... Alice really loves him (but is hiding it) but she is engaged to another noble.... -tears- it's so sad. -sniff- AND I CAN'T READ ANY FURTHER W(#$%&(#&$()*()!*#()*@)*#%#$ THEY STOPPED TRANSLATING IT ><;;;; What will happen to Randel, and the will'o'wisp that makes him a killing machine, and all those experiments to him? Will his gentle caring mind finally break under the stress? Will his bad dreams become reality? Will he ever confess his love and dependency for Alice? Will Alice ever do the same? Will the other "invisible 9" (nonexistant illegal) military units ever be faced? GAHHHH I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! NOT FAIIIIIIIRRRRR ;>_<;

OMG. OMG. OMG. Blood+.Just. So. Amazing. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~ Saya, the a Chiropteran Queen (basically a vampire, but due to being raised by humans after she lost her memory, she doesn't drink blood, but is given transfusions weekly I believe, under the excuse of an "anemic syndrome") has to fight mutated humans that were mutated from her twin/parallel's blood, and try to stop an international conspiracy, with her Chevalier, made immortal as she is by her blood, Haji. OMG. If you think it's anything like stereotypical vampire story, THINK AGAIN. Seriously, it's so amazing. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~ poor Solomon though. He truly loved Saya. He lost everything for her. Diva (Saya's twin, the other Queen) his fellow chevaliers, any semblence of a normal life and power associated with it. And he died, trying to help her. Then, when Saya's time of sleep came... that was sad too. Jeez just imagine... for every decade you sleep, you only get 1/10 of that time awake. So you sleep 20 years... you are awake 2 years. That's a terrible fate. And no cure. It's how the Queens stay alive for centuries. But yeah. Amazing. So frigging amazing.

GETBACKERS YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I have gotten people hopelessly addicted to this anime/manga. The anime is done, but the manga is still being translated on mangafox. There's like 49 volumes, and only 43 are scanlated. I AM SOOO SOOO SOOOOOOOOO EAGER TO READ THE REST OMFG. It's so complex, with the plot, the different powers of the people, infinity fortress, the different events, ideas of witchcraft, magic, herbology, illusions, SO AWESOME FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!! Poor Ginji, he goes through so much... but he's still cute naive and huggable -^^- And Ban... omg. So. Awesome. He seems so evil and cruel, but he really do has a good heart (mostly from the constant annoyance from Ginji >DDDD) LOL it's a must read series, and a must watch (well, episodes 1-25. The ones after that suck.)

Yeah done ranting I think. XP
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Me and my Oma were talking (as usual) today. This time she said I have to go into political science, due to my insight on party clashes and human nature. -eye twitches- ok, she wants me to be a doctor, AND develop my talent in Art AND be a psychologist AND do something in Law or Law Enforcement AND be something in political science (I'm betting she's thinking of senator or cabinet position) Well... I said to her, "At this rate you'll have me doing EVERYTHING!" She laughed and said, "YEP!" -eye twitches- yeaaaaaaaaah that's NOT happening. No. XP I'm honestly curious as to what people think I'd be best doing. I honestly have no clue, I am interested in all those fields (particularly law enforcement, where I could actually fight to put away criminals. OR work at the crime scenes to gather evidence, OR be a forensic pathologist and find the cause of death and use that to convict a criminal. As long as I can convict someone XP) But yeah. What do you all think? Where would I be best? I DO need to think about this, I apply to colleges this spring... -gulps- I need to make sure the major I go into I won't end up hating later... so I need to think about my profession.... yeaaaah it'll be a fun couple of years... Anyway, yeah, tell me what you think. XP
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Safest Place to Hide is a really good song. It's sung by the Backstreet Boys. The person that introduced me to that song is Soren. I find it very fitting. We're odd, me and Soren. We're parallels. Our lives and experiences are parallel, and when one of us feel pain or discomfort, be it emotional or physical, the other does as well. Which means I cannot successfully hide anything from him. ^^; It's definitely odd for me, as I'm not used to being completely truthful and open. But, it's a good thing for me to be so. As being too dishonest or closed causes problems later.. So, I'm improving. But anyway, since we often face similar problems, we support each other. Help each other. Confide in each other. As we fully trust each other. We are each others "safest place to hide". Hence why it's so fitting. -closes eyes- I'm glad to have such a great friend. I really am blessed.

Aaaaand as a final note....
Isn't it amazing? A journal that isn't totally depressing! :rofl:
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My life got a lot more interesting from 1 phone call today at around 1pm. Basically, my big sister called to tell me this: My mom in Cal got a call from the cops. I either had to go to school (as I'm legally still a resident there, and still going to school there, due to the fact that Lancaster High hasn't stopped my enrollment there and sent my transcripts to my new school yet, due to a terrible backlog in the office ><;; ) or they'd be arrested, and my little siblings taken away. Right now, legally, I'm a runaway truant. My dad here doesn't have legal custody, never did. So the cops could come here, put me in handcuffs, and extradite me back to California.

My mom was almost going to let extradition happen. But, apparently (my big sis didn't tell me this till today) last week my big sis got in a yelling match with my Mom. She had screamed that doing that would ruin my future, as I'd be forced to stay in California, cause emancipation to be impossible, and it would ruin me scholastically and financially. So, my Mom is trying to be cooperative, and try to prevent that from happening, as she DOES still care, even if she really hates what I've done.

The only course of action I can really take, is emancipation. That means I have to prove that I'm supporting myself fiscally, AND doing school. And with the classes I'll be having... It's not possible for me to do a fulltime job and school (IB English, IB Biology, IB American History, IB Pre Calc, Creative Writing, Medical Terminology [college credit class btw], Design 2. So yeah. 5 College Credit classes. Anyone want to say OUCH?!)

My big sis had an idea - start the emancipation process, to stall my Cal parents from being arrested. As I don't want them arrested. It's not their fault I left. And then, get the damned paperwork from my old highschool to my new one, make sure all paperwork that is needed to be filled out is filled out, and then cancel the emancipation process. We'll see how that works. When my dad wakes I'm going to call my big sis, and then hand the phone to him, so she can explain everything in more depth. And to set up when we can hang out tomorrow. We're trying to repair our relationship, as we haven't spent much time together in the last... jeez... several years. But yeah... was interesting..

And when I went on facebook to talk to my big sis, I also checked my messages. -growls- A old friend of the family had messaged me. "U have shocked me in your choices i thought you had more knowlede than your showing." WTF. W.T.F. Goddamnit I have thought this over for over a fecking year. I KNOW what I'm doing damnit. This...ugh... I thought she would understand. Suppose not. Well, I'm not going to reply. Not going to get sucked into this.

Anyway, took a 2 1/2 hour walk today to calm my nerves. I really scored at the Goodwill about 3+ miles away from the house. Found ALL of the His Dark Materials series by Phillip Pullman. Bought them all of course XDDDD something to read to help me relax, not think about the big bunch of chaos I've caused... And I drank a Venti Mocha Frappeccino. It was VERY well made. I talked to the lady while she was making it (as I'm generally cordial no matter what sort of a mood I'm in) and she made it PERFECT. Not too chocolately, not too weak... mmmmmmmmm.....it was fecking AWESOME.

But yeah, that's what's been going on. FUN.
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